Ice and Ladybugs
by BabyJane14
Summary: Fear of the unknown is the biggest weakness. Starting over is a scary thing, specially when you've worked so hard for everything you've built yourself.


Manda's Note: Normally I'd give you a reason... for this one though... I have no reason. but I love it. and I believe its a one shot. that could ALWAYS be changed though. god knows the marshmellow and I have been over and over it. tell me your thoughts. Enjoy!

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"Britt, of course if you put bleach in with dark clothes the clothes are going to come out… I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you. I'll be over tomorrow to see how bad it was ok? Just go… go get teddy and crawl up next to Mike. I'll be there as soon as I can in the morning."

Rinsing her hands from the sudsy bubbles the dark haired Latina closed the dishwasher with her foot and dried her hands on the towel beside the sink. Twenty-five years old and already exhausted by eight thirty at night, what did that say for the once controlling cheerleader. With her hands dry she reached her slim fingers under the rim of her glasses to rub her eyes. She'd been up since six, back when it'd been early morning cheerios practice at six she hadn't had the slightest problem but, that was eight years ago. Eight long years ago, long years ago that she wouldn't have revisited if someone had paid her. Just because she was exhausted didn't mean that she'd ever willingly give up a moment of the art work that covered the front of the black fridge.

"San?"

His husky yet sweet voice was like liquid gold to her ears as he walked down the cream colored hall to the white kitchen. Years ago she would have slipped into a defense to bark something meaningless at him. Now, she merely walked forward and met him in the center of the kitchen tiles, leaned up on tip toes, and met him in the slightest kiss that still made the butterflies rise in her stomach. Even after the years that had passed between the two of them he'd always been able to elicit that effect from her. Their kisses weren't biting and demanding as they'd once been, they didn't harbor the demands of lust, they didn't need and crave for the attention that their sixteen year old selves used to. Instead, every moment together held the appreciation and nearly fulfillers. Their kisses and everything were full of the lust that had melted into pure gold plated love.

"She's waiting for you to say goodnight. Bet by the time you get in there though she'll be out. Meet you outside? It's too hot in this house."

Pulling back from his embrace she felt his arms drop from her lower back downward and stay station for a moment, some things about him never changed. It made her smirk as she pulled her sweatshirt around her a little tighter to block out the cold chill in the mid December air. She didn't need to question his request to know what he wanted. Instead she simply nodded her head and headed away from the kitchen, down the hall where he'd come from. She could feel where his eyes lingered with every step she took. Yep, he was still the one she'd fallen in love with.

Just like every night she paused at the entrance to the black, red, and white room. It'd been the same way for the entire two and a half years they'd lived there. If she looked really hard she could still see the image of him and Mike hand painting every one of the lady bugs that adorned the walls. If she tried even harder she could go back to seeing that scared twenty-three year old sitting on the bathroom floor shaking and holding the positive test between her hands. It all felt so long ago as she entered the room where the little brunette laid sound asleep with a stuffed duck her father had more than likely placed into her arms. Kneeling down beside the toddler bed Santana leaned into the little child, her lips brushing a kiss to her tiny forehead. It was a role she'd never seen herself in until the day she nearly strangled the other culprit for being excited. She pulled the red with black dotted comforter up, making sure her own little lady bug was sung and warm for the night.

"I love you baby girl. Sweet dreams sweetheart, tomorrow everything changes."

Santana whispered as she brushed a finger to the side of the little girl's shut eyes half expecting the little hazel eyes to snap open with a big goofy grin that was almost an exact replica of her fathers. She was so much like him and Ana loved every bit about the fact. It was one of the reasons she knew she had to do exactly what she wanted most to do, even if it was something that scared her even more than carrying the healthy little girl that now laid in front of her to term had been. Nodding to herself she stood up again, her brown eyes still lingering on the child in front of her. Taking a few steps back she leaned against the window of the lady bug room for a moment, allowing her thoughts to consume her again. The memory of walking into the room for the first time after the boys had painted, that had been the final straw in her decision that keeping her baby meant the world to her. The final thing that told her they were meant to be together, that it was time to start beginning the rest of their lives.

Leaning to the side a little more she looked out the window trying to spot him, it wasn't all that hard. His shadow stood out even in the dark, bouncing off the crisp white snow. He was already pacing and she wasn't even outside yet. She knew how the conversation went, how it'd always gone. Taking another uneven breath she let her fingers drift to the friendship necklace Brittany had given her for Christmas her freshmen year of college, her symbol that everything wouldn't ever change. Brittany's way of telling Santana just because she was married to Mike didn't mean she wasn't the same old Brittany. She was ok then and she was going to be ok now, they were all going to be better once she did it. Reaching across her wrists for her elastic she put her hair up and hugged her sweatshirt again before walking out the back door to her waiting boyfriend who turned around the second he heard the screen open.

"I love you Santana"

She felt a chill crawl up her back as he addressed her by her full first name. She wanted to open her mouth to protest to him. To tell him to shut up and swallow any word that was going to come out of his mouth next.

"You don't have a clue how much you mean to me. You and that little girl that's in that apartment, I've tried… I've tried everything to show you."

Going any further in his words would have been too much. She didn't want to hear anymore. She didn't want another single thing to come out of his mouth. Taking all of the strength she rushed forward and pushed him down into the snow, a move that she'd done many times in the backyard of his childhood home. The strength she'd put behind it would have come across as abusive to anyone who didn't know them. Anyone who knew them of course would know that she could not only hurt him mentally but also physically if she wanted to, she'd done it after finding out he'd cheated on her senior year. He'd allowed her to pound against his chest mercilessly, till the purple and yellow bruises had begun to make themselves known on his still light from winter skin. Those times had been pushed to the back of her mind, memories that had closed off the day her baby girl had been placed in her arms after fourteen hours of grueling labor. Rolling over in the snow she noted the glare on his face as he reached for what she thought was help up. Instead, before she knew it she was laying flat on her back beside him in the cold snow.

"What the hell was that for?"

He snapped rolling over on top of her, leaning his weight on his fore arms. She couldn't breathe then. Twenty-five years old and suddenly petrified beyond words as he stared her down, a light in his eyes that she half wanted to slap out of him, she resisted though. She did her best to keep her breathing even as she shut her eyes before she could say something she would regret on snap.

"That was so you couldn't get down on your knee again"

With a quiet and timid voice that sounded like it almost didn't belong to her she heard his exasperated sigh and slapped the hard ground with his palm as hard as he could strike. She felt herself jump, his anger wasn't something she was used to anymore. He'd gone soft since Quinn had had his… thoughts she pushed from her mind as she focused on him rolling off of her with a frustrated grunt as though he was the same age as their two year old child. Recovering from her frozen state for a moment she half froze in the snow before pushing herself far enough off of the ground to straddle his hips. Just as she'd expected it to his aggression melted away and his hands slipped over the back pockets of her jeans.

"One day you're going to have to sa…"

His protest was cut off as she slid back down his legs enough to stick her right hand in his left pocket. Eliciting a small coy smirk that she was all too fast to wipe off with her own words, just because they'd grown up in almost ten years didn't mean that his thoughts had changed any.

"Not so fast Puckerman, I'm not getting you off out here in the snow while your daughter is sound asleep by herself in our house."

Just as she knew it would his smirk instantly faded into the confused as she switched hands and pockets still on her mission. Just as she'd expected it her hand connected with the gold and diamond ring in his pocket. One she'd played around with a million times growing up, Nana Connie had told her that one day it would be hers, back then, she'd shook her head and said that 'Noah' had cooties and he smelled like dirt. Oh how far they'd come since then. She pulled it from his pocket and held it up to the moonlight, the glint of the recently cleaned diamonds bouncing off of the white snow around them even in the moon light.

"Just looking for my ring Puck"

His whole body was frozen beneath her and it wasn't from going numb with frostbite. She looked him directly in the eyes as she slid the ring onto her left hand ring finger, a perfect fit. His eyes were shining as she placed her hands on either side of his head and leaned down, kissing him with all of her scared pent up emotion. Out of the nine times he'd attempted to propose and she'd shot him down finally this time she'd given into all defenses. As the kiss came to a simple and calmed end Santana pulled back from him with her eyes closed till his lips left hers. With the meeting of hazel and chocolate brown she saw every ounce of why she'd said yes, the reflection of everything she wanted and needed.

"You're sure about this baby?"

With a voice that sounded like it was almost afraid to ask she knew exactly why. There was a dark undertone to the excitement, her biggest fear other than saying the words 'I do'. Something that came along with his condition that he didn't want to be Lima losers forever, his one plea that in two and a half years she hadn't been able to comply with. She knew that her eyes reflected every ounce of apprehension but she also knew that she needed to do it, for herself… for their family.

"She's going to be fine Santana. You can't baby her anymore. You've taught her to remember her middle name and at least how to count to three. You can't do anymore than you have for her. She's been married to Mike for five years now baby; it's time to let him take care of her for once. You and I need to take care of our family. We're not those confused sixteen year olds anymore San. It's time to get out of Ohio for ourselves, for her… it's about time we start our lives."

There was still part of her that wanted to protest. To tell him that she couldn't leave Lima. Tell him that Brittany needed her more than he did. The same thing she'd claimed for years. With the weight of the engagement ring on her finger, the way he was looking at her with his heart in his throat, and the thought of the little girl who'd crawl into their bed to snuggle up close in the early mornings hours as she did every morning Santana knew better than to do that. She knew what she wanted and what she needed. They deserved to have their time too. Puck was right about that.

Leaving Lima meant leaving everything they'd known. Everything she'd made for herself. It meant making it so that their daughter could never follow in her mother and grandmother's tradition of being a cheerio at McKinley high. Leaving his mother and her Sunday dinners with his little sister, the place she'd fought for every last thing she wanted and in the end ended up on top, the every year visit to Matt's grave (something she'd always carry on her shoulders). Most importantly leaving meant leaving behind her best friend who she'd spent twenty years protecting, defending, and teaching. Brittany was the biggest thing that kept her in Lima. She knew she couldn't keep holding out though. They didn't want to be Lima losers, she'd agreed with him on that since they'd turned fifteen, getting out of Ohio and far away from it. There was a toddler girl with his eyes that depended on that.

Thinking of that alone told Santana what she needed and wanted to do. From the moment the doctors had placed their child in Puck's arms he'd become a father, a real, true honest to god father. From hogging the baby for three am feedings to reading her bed time stories every night, she'd never thought that they would have been the ones to have 'that life'. Sure it might have been something she'd always joked about, but the old Santana never would have allowed herself to get to that point. Even if he was the boy she'd been in love with since she was six years old.

"It's cold out here"

He complained from where he was pinned beneath her. She'd completely forgotten about being outside in the cold snow, her mind was far too many miles away. Slipping off of him to a standing position she reached her hand out to help him up only from the moment he was up only to have him wrap his arms around her and pull her close to him as he could get her. His familiar smell clung to his pores only now it was mixed with the now familiar scent of Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo. Something she'd always loved the smell of from the moment the argumentative and headstrong couple had given their new born baby her first bath.

"Can we go… celebrate now?"

He asked with a smirk as he slipped his hands up the exposed six where her sweatshirt had risen up. Yep, he was still the same old sex first Puck.


End file.
